A Second Chance

It’s midnight. I made some “Mr Tea” 3-in-1 milk tea I saved from the office pantry. It’s the most siap instant teh I’ve drunk, which made me feel 60 years old immediately upon the first sip. Lovely. Indeed, SPF knows me well and procures excellent welfare items.

I am now quite nervous. I am not afraid of failures, but I am afraid of final endings and no more retries. I guess I’ve always screwed things up on the first try but make it up on the second, but being the Humean that I am, I scoff at the apparent regularity.

Last week, I received some news. Oriel College, Oxford, has shortlisted me for interviews for Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE). Economics is first tomorrow evening, followed by Philosophy next Monday and Politics next Tuesday. This is my final chance, as I am set to start university next year after I ORD.

This isn’t my first encounter with the Oxford admissions process. I applied, unsuccessfully, to Oriel two years ago in JC2. I left a couple of questions blank on the Thinking Skills Assessment (TSA) and couldn’t finish the handwritten essay. Honestly, I didn’t expect to be fortunate enough to be invited to interview then, but I somehow received the invitation. My initial excitement at the prospect of salvation was dampened by the interview period coinciding with my A-Levels. Of course, the A-Levels took priority, so I spent more time preparing for my exams. I botched the Politics and Economics interviews despite being in my element for Philosophy. I was a JC2 kid too eager to please, too eager to demonstrate that I could get the correct answers. That was the mental focus of the A-Levels, and that was also the mentality with which I approached the interviews. Obviously, it was wrong; I learnt it the hard way.

And here I am back again, two years on, with no preconceived notions, no expectations, and certainly no vanities. I must admit, it is a huge relief to get shortlisted for interview again this time around. Every year for PPE, nine people fight for one place, and less than a third make it to the interview stage. You simply cannot assume that just because you’ve got shortlisted before, you’ll get shortlisted again. Without having to cope with the A-Levels, I worked doubly hard on TSA preparation this year. I printed ten past papers and worked on them religiously, logarithmically spaced, culminating in the actual TSA on 5 November. I was lucky because the TSA essay was to be typed instead of handwritten due to COVID-19, and my staff work vocation gave me plenty of typing practice every day.

In other news, these days, I have turned to material pleasures for gratification. It felt natural to indulge in acquiring and appreciating nice things as an outlet or coping mechanism, when all week you’ve just been busy with work in the office, only to be equally occupied with family affairs once you get home. I spent nearly $130 on Lazada for five things — one need, two wants and two gimmicks.

The need was an impressive $15 grey laptop case with interior cushioning and fleece-lined padding, as well as a retractable handle which was surprisingly substantial. My new HP Omen 15 has rather sharp edges which are prone to mechanical damage upon shock. It also has thin bezels, which makes it lean towards 14” instead of 15.6” in terms of traditional laptop dimensions. This laptop case — designed for a 14” laptop — fit my Omen 15 snugly, leaving no space for the laptop to bounce around inside. Wonderful.

The two wants were a Seiko SNK793 and a brown leather strap. The two gimmicks were ties: one polka-dotted and another knit. So far, I have received only the watch, and I am waiting for the rest to be shipped. My two-year-old Casio F-91W has served me tremendously well from camp to the jungle to the sea, but I thought it’s time to get my first automatic. I’m not disappointed. ∎